Category Archives: Body Mind Spirit

A Locked Door in Grief

Leave a reply

On this Memorial Day week-end, I have been reflecting on my last post and how C. S. Lewis was so joyous in his description of heaven in The Last Battle. However his writing took a very different tone a few years later when Lewis described his own grief. In A Grief Observed, Lewis held back nothing as he wrestled with his faith in God after the death of his beloved wife, Joy.

Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be — or so it feels — welcomed with open arms.

 But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows.  What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?” p.4

Later in the book he comes to some reconciliation with his grief and unanswered prayers

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer.’ It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you don’t understand.’ p.80

This is one reason why in caring for a grieving friend it is better to be a silent companion rather than a “glib answer man.” Lewis, ever the philosopher, has one more observation that gave me a smile as I think about my attempts to ask the great theological questions.

Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unaswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask – half our great theological and metaphysical problems – are like that. p.81

How have you experienced grief and what support helped you the most?

Lord Jesus, grant us hope in the midst of whatever questions we may ask of you.

Deep Gladness and Deep Hunger

3 Replies
The Wonderous Joy of Graduation

Yesterday Resurrection Lutheran honored our high school seniors who will soon be graduates. There are seventeen seniors in our congregation who now embark on a new section of their life journey. For many of them the journey includes further education or training before embracing a vocation or career. Rarely will that choice be a life-long decision in which they work at one setting all their lives.

I have posted before on Martin Luther’s perspective on God’s role in our vocation or calling. Yesterday with the seniors I quoted from author Frederick Buechner,

Vocation comes from the Latin vocare, “to call” and means the work a person is called to by God. There are all different kinds of voices calling you to different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of society, say, or the superego, or self-interest.

By and large a good rule for finding out is this: The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need to do and (b) that the world needs to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you’ve presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing cigarette ads, the chances are you’ve missed requirement (b). On the other hand if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you have probably met requirement (b), but if most of the time you are bored and depressed by it, the chances are you have not only bypassed (a), but probably aren’t helping your patients much either.

Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. (F. Buechner, Beyond Words, p. 404-405)

Buechner’s words ring true for me. I have discovered great joy as I grow into my calling as pastor of Resurrection. I see it in my family as my daughter prepares again to be a pastry chef for the summer and as my son works to start a new business. Each of us is doing something we love and in a setting that will benefit others.

How have you heard God’s calling in your life?

Lord Jesus, show me how I can best love my neighbor through my vocation.

The Journey to Transformation – Return

Leave a reply

Minivan Delight

I returned safely from my quick trip to Bloomington, Indiana.  Quick is the key word.  I picked up the rental van at 7:30 am Tuesday, arrived in Bloomington at 7:30 pm, left at 11:00 am the next morning and was home by 10:30 Wednesday evening with my daughter Suzanne and her possessions.  I drove 1400 miles in less than 40 hours which for many Americans is not that extraordinary.  It was an efficient trip, but not transformative.

The strongest memory of this trip will probably be the walk and meal I had with my daughter and her roommate.  As we walked, Suzanne detailed some of her adventures and I realized that I had missed her over the past months. Parenting is filled with best guesses.  Though I had my reservations about her post-college move, I knew she had to try it.  Suzanne moved to live with a former college roommate.   Her part-time job as a tele-marketing interviewer was frustrating as she really wanted to be a baker.  After eight months in Bloomington she was ready to try something new.  The trip became more about her journey than my own.  Fortunately God weaves various people into our life journeys to help guide the way.

Bacon Ice Cream Delight

The other strong memory from this trip will be the desert Suzanne and I shared at the Upland Brewing Restaurant: BACON ICE CREAM.  I had never heard of it but Suzanne assured me it was for real.  Suzanne has always loved bacon and seeing it on the menu I knew she would order it.   I asked for two spoons so I could simply taste it.   After I tasted it, I wished that I had ordered my own dish.  Suzanne waxed eloquently about the combination of sweet cream and salty bacon.  I just kept eating.  Transformative it wasn’t, but still a delight.  And I remain thankful for the delight of seeing my daughter and enjoying bacon ice cream.

You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11

What has provided you delight or joy in recent days?  How have you celebrated that joy?

Lord Jesus, thank you for the joy that joy bring to life for you are the source of all real joy.

Screwtape Letters I

Leave a reply

The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters is my current read (more accurately, my commuting audio-book). This book launched Lewis as a popular Christian author in 1942 and is a series of letters written by a senior devil, named Screwtape, to his nephew and junior tempter, Wormwood, instructing him on how to lead a young British man (call the patient) towards damnation and hell. These clever letters give the reader a humorous, yet wise perspective on the temptations to pride, lust, greed, gluttony, and self-righteousness.

Lewis’ insights still speak truth today. For example in letter eight, Screwtape writes regarding the natural ebbs and flows, (the undulation) of human emotions, even for Christians.

Humans are amphibians—half spirit and half animal. . . As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirits can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation—the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.

If you had watched your patient carefully you would have noticed this undulation in every department of his life—his interest in work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down. As long as he lives on earth, periods of emotional and bodily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty. The dryness and dullness through which your patient is now going are not, as you fondly suppose, your workmanship.

Lewis goes on to write that the trough of spiritual dryness and dull heart can be the true place of spiritual growth, because in these valleys we learn to walk with God out of obedience and trust, and not simply because we feel some good pleasure in it. As a moody Scandinavian I often wrestle with my darker emotions. The tempter wants me to see the dark valley as God’s abandonment; God wants me to see the valley as a training ground for deeper faith and commitment.   As Lewis writes,

Hence prayers offered in the state of dryness are those that please Him (God) best.

How do you understand your emotional, spiritual, and physical ebb and flow?

Lord Jesus, teach me to be faithful, especially at my low points.

Bicycling Together

Leave a reply

At times I look as stiff as this sculpture

This week it seems as if someone has hit a button and Minnesota has shifted from winter to summer.  Thunderstorms, hail and tornado warnings have replace snow and windchill as topics of conversation.   With this shift in weather, I have been able to use my new bicycle, but I still need to check the radar before changing to bike shorts.

Bicycling is a new sport for me.  I still do not know all the nuts and bolts of my bike.  Someone recently asked what shoes and clipless pedals I had.  I had no idea.  I still awkward each time I start out for a ride.  I am thankful for my friend, Tim Torgerson,  who mentors me in the fine art of a group ride.

It reminds me when I first started serious running twelve years ago, training for my first marathon.  Being a newbie is awkward.   I remember the first time I went on a ten-mile run with the group in the spring.  I wore a cotton t-shirt and paid the price when the sweat-soaked shirt chaffed my skin.   By the end of that run I had blood streaks on the shirt from chaffed nipples.  Not a pretty sight.

Yet even after that embarrassment, I came back to run with the group, because they gave me so many rewarding training runs.  I remember especially some of the long training runs around White Bear Lake or out through Stillwater and back along the Gateway Trail.   The camaraderie of a good training group gave me confidence to set high goals and to work hard to achieve them. 

The spiritual life of a Christian can have similar moments of awkward beginnings.  We may not know where to find a book in the Bible or how to pray out loud with others.  We’re not sure what words are correct or how to express our feelings.  Yet to maximize the vibrant life with Christ, we need to be in fellowship/training with other Christians.  We need other followers of Christ to help us grow in the study of God’s Word, in the art of caring for one another, and in the discipline of prayer.   Hopefully we will remember our own awkward beginnings and with patience mentor each other to grow more Christ-like.

Who has been a mentor to you in your Christian life? How have you mentored others?

Lord Jesus, show me the path to true Christian community.

Acts 2:42 part 1

Leave a reply

Studying the Apostle's Teachings

Life in the early church may sound strange to our contemporary ears. The description of miracles and healings, the passionate letters of Paul, and the missionary zeal of the apostles can appear to be other-worldly.  Our lifestyle, political systems, technologies and economic complexities can seem distant from the stories of the Bible. Perhaps that is why I value Acts 2:42 so much.

Acts 2:42 describes the life of the early church in Jerusalem, shortly after Peter preached his first sermon and several thousand people placed their trust in Jesus as their Savior and Lord.

They devoted themselves to the apostle’s teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayers. (Acts 2:42)

Their four signs of devotion are still practiced by followers of Jesus today:
1. Apostle’s Teachings
2. Fellowship
3. Breaking of Bread
4. Prayers

Followers of Jesus continue to study the “apostle’s teaching:” Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, the Book of Acts, the Epistles of Paul, John and Peter.   The apostle’s teachings became our New Testament. We study them to understand who Jesus is and what his life, death and resurrection mean for us.

As we study together we continue to create fellowship, because we discover how the teachings impact our shared lives.  We listen to each other’s joys and sorrows.  We care for one other during times of illness, stress or hardship.  Fellowship is more than a shared cup of coffee after worship; fellowship is the shared cup of blessing and generosity through all of life.

One of my deepest tastes of apostle’s teaching and fellowship came in college when I participated in the Haverford-Bryn Mawr Christian Fellowship.  Every Friday evening twenty to forty college students would gather to study God’s Word and to reflect together how it impacted our lives.  It created a missionary zeal in many of us.  We did not want to simply survive college with our faith intact. We felt a calling to bear witness to Jesus Christ in an often academically hostile environment.   The study and fellowship gave us the courage and compassion to speak.  The ancient devotions brought us life.

How has the study of the apostle’s teaching affected your fellowship?

Tomorrow, reflections on the breaking of bread and prayers.

 Prayer: Lord Jesus, teach me to be devoted to your ways.

Remembering God’s Way

Leave a reply

Eustace and Jill from Silver Chair by Dunechaser on Flickr

I am on a C. S. Lewis binge, rereading his Chronicles of Narnia.   The Silver Chair is this week’s read, in which Eustace Scrubb and Jill Pole are given the mission of rescuing the Narnia Prince Rilian.  Near the beginning of the story, King Aslan gives to Jill four signs that will aid in their mission.  She is instructed to remember the signs by repeating them every day, telling them to Eustace and later their companion, Puddleglum. The discipline of the repetition will allow them to recognize the signs when she, Eustace or Puddleglum encounter them.  In the hardship of her journey she neglects the repetition and therefore they must face unnecessary challenges.

This act of remembering echoes God’s words to the Israelites while they were wandering in the wilderness, prior to entering the promise land.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.  Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.  Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise.  Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:5-9)

The act of daily devotions can at time feel like a chore or empty ritual.  Yet to neglect the ritual is to open oneself to other, less healthy, less meaningful influences.  To read a passage of scripture, to pray the Lord’s Prayer, or to confess the Apostle’s Creed aides one in reorienting oneself to God’s mission and path. I confess I can easily be distracted from the main tasks of the day.  Asking for God’s guidance, courage and strength helps me stay true to my mission to trust, live and serve.  

How has daily time with God enhanced your life of faith?

Prayer: Lord God, only you know what is ahead for me today.  I ask you to guide my thoughts, words and deeds, that they might bring honor to you.

Peace be with you

Leave a reply

Prayer for Peace by American artist Cindy Walker

Twice the resurrected Jesus greets his frighten disciples with the words, “Peace be with you.” (John 20:19, 26).  This is more than the absence of conflict.  In Hebrew peace, shalom, means fullness or wholeness, having all that you need to be fully alive.

Peace is something  for which many of us still seek.  We may not fear the direct persecution which the early disciple’s feared, but we feel overwhelmed at times by the complexity and uncertainty of modern life.  We fear that our jobs may disappear, or our children may stray, or our health may fail.  The news media is unrelenting in showing us the potential disasters we face.  We long for peace, deep personal peace.

Jesus offers peace, but not the absence of conflict or storm.  When he appeared to the disciples, he showed them his scars from the cross.  He had suffered and died.  Yet the darkness of death could not hold him.  Jesus’ death seems the very opposite of peace.  Yet, as Frederick Buechner writes,

The contradiction is resolved when you realize that, for Jesus, peace seems to have meant not the absence of struggle, but the presence of love. (Beyond Words, p. 307)

Jesus’ presence gave assurance of peace and love to the scared disciples.  His presence today gives the same benefit. 

How have you experienced God’s love and peace this week?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, open my life to be full and at peace with you.

Easter Sunday

Leave a reply

Our Name Celebrates Easter Every Sunday

The story of Easter seem unbelievable, yet it shakes the world.  The video link below is from Luther Seminary’s workingpreacher.org and bears witness in a creative way to how our perspective can change with Jesus’ Resurrection.  He has risen!

Easter is coming

Ministry Matters™ | Articles | The Logic of Hell

Leave a reply

Adam Hamilton

 

Adam Hamilton has written a thoughtful article on the necessity yet limits of Hell.   Adam is a United Methodist pastor in Kansas City that I have appreciated for many years.   His treatment of Jesus’ statements on hell was particularly helpful to me.

Ministry Matters™ | Articles | The Logic of Hell.